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June 20, 2011
Meaning: Isn’t it refreshing when someone says, “I’m sorry, that was my fault.”? No excuses, no rationale, no long-winded explanations - just a simple apology. If you want to gain others’ support and be authentic, then be willing to admit to a mistake you know you made and hear how your actions may have disappointed someone. All of us are fallible in different ways – it’s in our human nature. What separates truly great leaders from the rest of the crowd is their ability to humbly and sincerely apologize. It’s not complicated, yet somehow we make it difficult. Consider the public acclaim that Warren Buffet received in 2009, when he acknowledged some investing mistakes (“I did some dumb things”). Taking responsibility for your actions enhances trust within your work and your family relationships.
Ideas for Action: In my view there are four kinds of mistakes. An honest mistake is a misstep - something you did not intend to do, but did. Examples range from double-booking your time, forgetting a meeting, failing to let someone know about a decision you made, making a poor hiring decision or sending a confidential e-mail to the wrong person. It’s an example of courage when an individual has the self-confidence and humility to admit they made an error.
Honest mistakes are a part of life, in ways small and large. A client told me about how her boss responded to a mistake she was devastated about. She had made a simple math error that could ultimately cost her company $20 million. When her response was to submit a letter of resignation, her boss rejected it, saying “I just spent almost $20 million training you, and now you want to leave?”
A second type of mistake is an error of omission. It may not be visible to others, but it is to you. These mistakes fit under the heading of “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve.” Maybe it was something you neglected to say or do that you learned from in retrospect. These are preventable when you choose to act rather than wait.
A third type of mistake is caused by human nature. We all have personality traits that can trip us up. For example, you may be a perfectionist, overly independent, too confident, an under-communicator, mistrustful of others, etc…fill in the list with your own foible. If you know what can derail you, or cause leadership problems for you personally, you can take steps to prevent damaging situations or relationships.
Finally, I wish we made more mistakes of the fourth variety: trial and error. Trial-and-error mistakes are simply part of learning; you may make them when you try something new or stretch beyond your comfort zone into unchartered territory. You may not know how something is going to turn out, but go ahead and try. Then learn from what happens. If we all expect perfection the first time into uncharted waters, we’ll never go there
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Whether you’re addressing a mistake of your own, or working with a colleague who’s erred, determine how you can turn the event into a teachable moment. It’s a matter of trust and authenticity.
Best regards,
Sandra Davis, CEO