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June 13, 2011
Meaning: Yesterday, our nearly two-year-old granddaughter stood grinning at the plate, bat in hand, hoping to hit the same kind of backyard Wiffle Ball screamer she just saw her 8-year-old brother launch. He was helping her grip the bat, stand at the plate, and time her “swing.” All the while he was saying, “Audrey, you can do it.” There, in our backyard, was the real truth about coaching. I’m not talking about coach (the noun), which many use as a synonym for leader. I’m talking about the art of coaching, which is part of a great leader’s repertoire. As my colleague and master coach, Joe Volker, likes to say: “Coaching is the art of keeping someone on their growing edge.” To coach means to teach, to guide, to help someone learn or to set up the right conditions for learning. Coaching is all about behavior change. It requires four elements: a good relationship, a desired goal (challenge), a willing learner, and a great environment to practice in (support). There were all four, right in front of my eyes. Audrey laughed with excitement when she barely ticked the ball forward - she dropped the bat and clapped her hands. Running after you hit? That must be next week’s lesson.
Ideas for Action: How are you doing with being a coach for others at work? Take stock of the four critical elements and how you are using them: the relationship (I would call it an alliance between you and the learner); goal-setting (creating the challenge); ensuring you have a willing learner; and providing the support for the inevitable successes and failures of learning something new. All challenge with no support leads people to be afraid to try; all support with no challenge means the goal is too easy. Think about how you challenge and how you support: what’s the ledger look like for you?
Let’s assume you have a willing learner who is asking for feedback. Providing feedback is one of the skills at the heart of effective coaching. The process itself is challenging and rewarding. Done well, feedback is a powerful force for learning. Handled poorly (or more commonly, not at all), it leads to the learner either guessing or resisting. A Major League baseball coach was recently fired because of his alleged inability to provide useful feedback to his players.
One rule of thumb to follow when giving feedback: assume that people want to know about their impact, and that feedback is a gift. One of the most common complaints at all levels of an organization is: “I don’t get enough feedback from my manager.” Second, stay away from labels: focus as much on the behavior and its impact, and be as non-judgmental as you can. Third, tie it to things that make a difference in terms of your team’s goals, and link them to organizational performance.
One way to know if you are being specific enough with both positive and constructive feedback is to use the DESC method: Describe the behavior; reveal your Emotional reaction to it; be Specific about what you want to happen in the future and describe the (positive) Consequences of continuing or changing the behavior. Here's an example: Describe: “I have noticed you arriving late for most of our team meetings.” Emotion: “I am frustrated, because it wastes everyone's time.” Specific: “We all need you to be here at the start of our meetings.” Consequences: “When you do that, your colleagues will know you want to be part of this team, and they will respect what you have to say.”
You'll find the DESC model works for positive feedback too. "Way to keep watching the ball, Audrey. Next time, you can run over there to first base." Priceless!
Here's to great coaching being in your repertoire too!
Best regards,
Sandra Davis, CEO